Love and children

Love and children.

I didn't fall in love with DanPar at first sight. The first words he heard from me were, "Man, that is one goopy baby." But what I don't often mention is that I said that, because he was gray, and after the entire ordeal of labor, I was just trying to lighten the mood, especially because I was worried he wasn't going to turn out all right. Babies aren't supposed to be gray, right?

That's about the feeling every new parent has, right?

One of the best parts, staying at the hospital after his birth, was when they measured his temperature, and it seemed a bit low, so they took him for a few hours. We could finally sleep. Not exactly what new parents are supposed to think, right?

Well, that's how things started with my son. He was a weird-looking thing that we were now in charge of. Luckily, in my head, as soon as we took him home, he turned from inconvenience to joke. We would laugh about how I had to stay up reading Batman to him. We would watch him squirm in his alien body, and we'd laugh at how crazy this whole thing was. That's when I made a decision to laugh at all the times he drove me crazy. This, by the way, was a magical decision. It's the reason I started the blog.

The feeling is mutual, DAD.

So, he came into this world first as an inconvenience. Not great, but not unusual for new parents, especially with a tough delivery. Then he became a joke. That was progress, but it certainly wasn't love yet.

But he became something I had put a lot of time and effort in. I started going the extra mile. At first, I took him to the library storytime because he was REALLY cute, and I needed to show him off, and also because I had nothing better to do. But eventually, if we missed a storytime, I would clear out a space on the floor, grab a few books, and we'd have our own storytime. I realized I had memorized all the songs from storytime.

I knew all the toys he liked. I knew where he liked to have tummy time. I had fallen in love with my kid over his first few months without even realizing it. And that's when I became a parent.

I think one thing's for sure. I needed other people. I needed my wife to be there with me, or else I wouldn't have had anyone to laugh with. I needed our families to look after the kiddo for a few hours, or even for a couple minutes. And heck, I even needed all those strangers looking at me, JUDGING ME (at least as a new parent, I assumed they were), because it made me want to be on my best behavior. And even in those showy circumstances, I faked it, and I maked it. And now I find myself singing little baby songs to other people to talk about what I'm doing, even if the boy is miles away. Why? Because I have the sweetest little guy in the world, who has a big smile on his face when he hears me come into his room in the morning, who holds up his arms for me to pick him up when he's feeling sad, and because he's my boy.

And nothing will ever change that.