I am a choremaster. I do laundry every other day, I run the dishwasher 2-3 times a day, and I'm constantly in a state of cleaning. Whenever I move from one room to another, I pick up the things that are out of place and take them at least that much closer to their final destination.
And I'm happy with that. I like to clean, I like to organize, I like to listen to a good book (or a bad book even!) and just do the things that, after years and years, take no actual effort on my part! On a day when my mood is as low as it ever is, you bet your butt that the dishes will get done!
Now add kids to the equation, and now it all takes effort!
And of course it does. Good parenting is difficult, and I put energy into these little munchkins. I hope it pays off. I certainly know that they know how much I love them, and it's great.
I have two worries: First, I hope my kids are good people and want to hang out with me and talk to me when they grow up. Second, I hope that my constant state of stress doesn't manage to affect me in the long-term. My therapist has been warning me that chronic stress is a bad thing (not exactly a surprise, but it's cool that someone's job is keeping it from happening).
I don't worry, I don't have anxiety, and stress is such an in-the-moment thing. It's sad to see it happen, that my spirits can so quickly go from "What a nice day!" to "I hope I survive the day!", but I'm going to get through this. My life will not always have kids sitting on me when I'm trying to edit, or screaming at each other as a way to wake me up.
I can't exactly say I have a point to writing all this. It's just been a week full of chores, and the house is no cleaner than when I began, and I'm constantly overwhelmed. Well, okay, I do have a point to writing all this. My therapist told me to! Journaling (and by extension, blogging) is a way to build resilience, so I'm not just carrying all my stress.
Also, between stress and anxiety and worry? I'm glad it's stress. Stress goes away.
All right, I'm going to try and get ahead on my editing, now! I love my Copper Coin Editing business.
