I have a hard time being in a conversation where everyone starts talking about their health.
But here we are!
The last few years have seen me through some problems that will likely follow me for the rest of my life. And as I wake up today, I'm going to take this opportunity to complain.
I haven't felt rested since Echo was born. It doesn't seem like I get enough sleep. I don't really wake up and feel good anymore. No matter how much sleep I get, I still feel like I need a nap midday, and I don't feel like I get any benefits from a nap. I just don't get drowsy in the evening. It's beginning to annoy me how much sleep my body feels like it needs, because I have so little time to spend alone. Spending it unconscious feels like a waste of time.
My teeth don't feel good. I have a few teeth I avoid. I can see a little transparent spot on my front tooth that isn't actual tooth, because I chipped it while changing a battery. I have been told to avoid eating apples and other crunchy foods. For how long? For forever.
There's no great way of putting it, but my vasectomy operating area still hurts and is very very sensitive. I was told that there was a 1 in 100 chance of this happening. Lucky me.
Ever since I got COVID, I feel like I've been in a brain fog. Not as quick-witted, harder to concentrate without spacing out.
The reason I'm feeling so bleak about all of this is that I have two new ones to add from the last month.
My ears are ringing. I don't hear silence anymore.
My ankle still hurts from my sprain, and it's been almost a month.
I'm sad and bitter about all of this. I'm 35 and feel like I'm falling apart. I wake up and I feel like my body isn't up to snuff. And add on that I'm feeling just inundated with constant stress... I just feel BAD. I was hoping that I could make it through these stressful years and out the other side, but it's discouraging to feel like the body I'm stuck with for the rest of my life is going to be working against me.
Well, I suppose that's it. It's summer. I could really stand to have some time to recharge and feel human again. It's hard to see bright spots from my dark cloud. Thankfully, I naturally take a lot of pictures, so here are bright spots from the summer!
