Crash has to eat. He has to eat every three hours. And his appetite has no regard for what time of day it is. Luckily, neither does Netflix.
So, I've been watching The Justice League. So let's all just say this has a lot to do with being a dad, and get going. Because honestly, it's what
I want to talk about. So let's talk about our favorite DC hero team!
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| Wings? Check. Mace? Check. Cool. Let's smash things. |
Hawkgirl
When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. She's strong, she flies, she whacks things with a freaking MACE. Half of her lines are RAHGGGHHH, and you know what? Her character is
spot on. Like a young Superman, before he was charismatic. If she talks to the people she saves, it's either a reprimand to be more careful, or advice on where to hide right now. Just problems to solve, and if they're big problems, like videogame bosses, all it takes is more hits.
Badass moment:
She is a fighter. So when she's sent to Themyscira to find information, here's how it works. She tries to sneak in. She's not sneaky, she hits things with a mace. So they find her. Then she tries to talk to them. She's not eloquent, she hits things with a mace. So they attack her, and she simply says, "All right. They won't listen to reason." And she opens up a nice can of whoop-ass on these fellow good guys, simply because hey, that's how she
does.
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| Don't worry, folks. She gets caught. Amazons are not blind. |
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| Superman is strong. |
Superman
This isn't the Superman that they need to create different universes to defeat, like the one in the comics. He can be knocked out by powerful shock, being smashed, or in one episode, a manufactured disease. He's still weak to Kryptonite, but his true weakness is that everyone knows about him. He has a lineup of villains that follow him to his adoptive planet Earth, and nearly every villain creates a plan that involves a specific way to take him out of the fight. He is still overpowered, but it's balanced by his public figure.
But sometimes Superman loses his cool. This is when he loses his predictability, and things get messy. Darkseid (bad guy): "Time and again, I've beaten you, humbled you. What makes you think today's outcome will be any different?" Superman (good guy): "Because this time, I'm not going to stop until you're just a greasy smear on my fist."
Badass moment:
In a time travel episode, they
go back to WW2, and while they're evacuating the allies, a massive fleet of
Nazi fighter planes fly in, and Superman says, "All bets are off." Dude. Gets. MAD. And he proceeds to just rain lasers and mayhem upon them.
Right off the bat, he simply flies through the propeller of one, and it shreds
it. It was probably the best scene I've ever seen, movie, show,
comic, anywhere, of Superman truly fighting. And I think it's because this is
exactly what he was made for, right? I'd buy war bonds after watching that!
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| Nazis vs lasers. Place your bets! |
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| In brightest day, in blackest night... |
Green Lantern
Jon Stewart was the first Green Lantern I knew, and so he's probably my favorite. He has the demeanor of a man who is no stranger to duty. He protected his country as a member of the US Marines, he protects the earth as a member of the Justice League, and he protects the galaxy as a member of the Green Lantern Corps. Nothing stops him from doing the right thing. And if he's having trouble, the first thing a soldier like him knows to do is to tell those fighting alongside him. He's not here to show off. He's here to protect...well, everything.
Badass moment:
At one point, Stewart is convicted of accidentally destroying a planet. Even though it wasn't his fault, he freely surrenders himself, and stands trial. And when he is condemned to capital punishment, he never sinks his head, never skips a step. He accepts his place as just a small piece of something bigger, and never hesitates to submit himself to the law, even if he disagrees with it.
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| Oh, and Flash got dragged into it, too. |
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| Who wouldn't use their superpowers to land endorsement deals? |
Flash
I liked him as a kid, I like him now. His powers vary depending on what is needed. Sometimes he can run fast enough to create a whirlwind, or even rip some time-space. And sometimes he's just not quite fast enough to outrun a bad guy throwing a rock. But no matter what, he's got a great screen presence. If he's in the scene, you know he's going to get a smile and chuckle out of you.
Badass moment:
Flash is the Spider-Man type who keeps his head on by finding humor in every situation. When faced with a room full of bad guys with guns, he zips through, grabs every single weapon, and says, "Hey, can you hold these?" and dumps the pile into one bad guys arms, before shouting, "Sucker!" and clocking him in the face.
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| Unnecessary, but it's why I love the guy! |
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| Angry Martian disapproves of your Internet history. |
J'onn
In short, J'onn is the one you need to fear. Being a telepath, you cannot hide anything from him. Being a shapeshifter, you never know who is actually next to you. Being able to go through walls, you won't be able to seal yourself away from him. And being really strong and able to fly...yeah. Don't make enemies with this guy. He's emotionally distant after the loss of all other martians, and personally, I think he does better as the league coordinator, teacher, and guardian in Justice League Unlimited. But he's still awesome here.
Badass moment:
So, since J'onn doesn't really do dramatic stuff, his badass moment is a thoughtful point when he's talking to Hawkgirl. "I was just thinking. You, me, Wonder Woman, Superman - we
are all of us orphans and exiles." Like I said, I like him better as a leader than a fighter.
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| I really think this is the only time J'onn smiles and he isn't in some weird delusion. |
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| Classic. |
Batman
After every Justice League episode that involves Batman, one feeling you always take away is how this rich normal dude dresses up like a bat, and somehow still holds his own alongside these superheroes. It's no secret that he's one of my favorite superheroes of all time. And in Justice League, I think it's his best character.
Badass moment:
Really, every moment is a badass moment with Batman, but when he truly flexes his one distinguishing superpower is at the crux of a battle with Lex Luthor, when Lex's righthand man turns on him, neutralizes the bad guys, and surrenders immediately.
As the turncoat is walked out by the police, he turns to Batman and asks, "You'll keep our bargain?" And Batman just responds, "Yes. Double what Luthor was paying."
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| I prefer a Batman who smirks. |
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| Most other heroes with her strength block attacks by just letting it hit them. |
Wonder Woman
I read some recent issues of WW, and what annoyed me was that everyone had the same personality. Serious, calm only on the surface, but willing to crack puns. (Seriously, EVERYONE told puns.) In Justice League, her persona is the same, but luckily, she is supported by a strong cast of characters. Beginning the show, she has just arrived from Themiscyra, and finds all the customs a little foreign. I'd really like to see more involved development of her character, but the writers seem too shy to move away from the naive archetype. But character aside, is she good? Yes. Can she fight? Yes. Is she written in a way that her feelings are one of her biggest weaknesses? No. (Thank goodness. This happens all the time in comics, y'all.)
Badass moment:
Guys, women in comics are too often underdeveloped. For Hawkgirl, she's got a simple personality. Hit things with mace. For Wonder Woman, though, she is shortchanged of much of anything. She's the perfect team player, and doesn't do things on her own. She is being improved, thought. She was given a sword alongside her lasso recently, but in this show, you can tell there isn't much there yet. But one moment I like is when a douche on TV says, "I've seen showgirls with more modesty than her!" Wonder Woman responds with a frown, and, well, punches the screen with superhuman strength.
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| That costume is what you get for being a female superhero from 1941. |
I suppose this post came a little more timely than I meant it to, because the Justice League movie is just around the bend! But I just wanted to write this because, well, I like writing about things I like. So there.
Also, I have two kids now, and it's weird being undeniably an adult, when all I want to do is discuss how the heroes changed between Justice League and the sequel series, Justice League Unlimited.
