The hobbies of a stay-at-home dad!

Technology can be a drag. It's not right that people should be satisfied jut sitting on their asses and look at their phones, but as a man who has done this plenty in his life, let me say that people are GOOD at making things attention-grabbing. The Internet is virtually infinite, and you can do anything on it. And with smartphones, that infinity is in the palms of our hands.

But with infinity, the easiest thing for a tired mind to do is kick a can around.
So here are the hobbies that I try to keep up with!


1. Writing

I've got ideas bouncing around, but it isn't until I put them on paper that they really start to make sense. For a month, I was planning this encounter between a main character and this other guy. But when I put my fingers on the keys, I made them a brother and sister with a strained relationship! A scattered month of planning couldn't match 20 minutes typing.
It's hard to motivate myself to write when ideas aren't coming, but it's when I start writing that ideas actually materialize.


2. Editing

It's a hobby that's made me a few hundred dollars! Isn't that the dream? I like to read ideas and be a part of growing them into bigger and better stories! I think I'm particularly good at  helping other people hone in on what they want to say.
It helps that I've got some projects that are always on the backburner. Some friends who've just sent me things for grammar and spelling, or to see if a story's there, but no rush. It makes it a more leisurely hobby, even though every few months I find myself working hard to get things done!


3. Board game design

Of anything, this is the most sporadic hobby I've got. I have yet to actually finish anything, but I've probably started ten games while I've been a dad. I keep on getting ideas like "What if you could build a city while fighting off monsters?" or "What if you set up actions before a battle and so battles were fast-paced?" or "What if you built giant robots?"
Actually, I guess I've had some success with tabletop RPGs! Homebrew DnD that we played on my 28th birthday, Umbra that I've played for two sessions (and I'm working on a third). These ones are a bit easier to design, because I can make things up as I go! I just need the most basic rules, and because the games essentially require me to guide them (which is the most heart-pumping fun time ever), I don't need much set in stone.


4. Reading

It takes me forever to read a book, but I do enjoy it. It's a good alternative to a phone screen, and honestly, it feels good to show my kids that it's fun to read.

It's hard to stave off the ability to just be entertained by mindless things. But these are the hobbies I have!

Now here are cute kids!

Just kidding. Those are my non-cute kids! But I love them regardless.

I was a good kid... I think?

Back when I was doing the Leader's Training Course for the Army ROTC in Fort Knox, I made sure that the drill sergeants did not know my name. That's what doing a good job looks like when you're a cadet. But there was one time I couldn't help but crack a joke.

They were talking about how we were never to use the 3-round burst option on our M-16s, because if you aimed right, the enemy never took more than one shot. Standing at ease, I quipped, "Drill sergeant, what if it's a boss fight?"

The sergeant, who was one of the nicer ones, came over to me, looked in my eyes, looked down at my name (because I was a good cadet), and said, "Then you're free to rain hell on them, Johns." And he turned away and continued his lecture.

Looking back, my childhood (which apparently extends to when I was 20 years old), is dotted with these sorts of situations. Nine times out of ten, I was the exemplary student and kid, which meant that I got away with that one time out of ten when I wasn't!

I've been carrying a digital camera in my pocket since I was a senior in high school. This was before every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a phone had one, so my college years are particularly well-documented for someone my age! Anyways, high school. Mr. Deconna, great teacher, once displayed, for an instant, a page with all the books we'd read, and all the themes we would be expected to talk about on the final. It was sort of like a joke, but also a "find the book that gives you the most trouble and make a quick note." Some people got out a notebook. I got out a camera. And by the time the ten seconds were up, I had snapped a picture, and people were already writing their email address in my notebook.

Maybe it wasn't exactly strictly enforced, but you weren't supposed to climb on top of the buildings at UVa. But I did. A few times a week. I'd brought a sleeping bag and spent the night up on Wilson, only to wake up to lines of students filing into their morning classes below me.

I never broke a desk, but only out of luck. From high school to college, the quickest way for me to get from one side of a classroom to the other was the high altitude option. I would walk, sometimes jump, from desktop to desktop.

I was a smart kid. Very smart. I knew how to get around the security on the school computers, and while I'm sure I could have done endless carnage to the system, I used it to show my friends silly videos.

I think what really made me think this was all right was that it was, although I didn't think it at the time, sticking it to the man. No one in specific was hurt by my actions, even though I'd hate to see my kids doing the same thing. (Except for climbing on buildings, that was cool.) And often in these situations, I helped my friends. I got a chuckle from my squadmates, I helped my friends pass their AP English final, and I have a lot of memories of evenings and nights spent on the rooftops of UVa with good friends.

The moral of the story? I don't know. I got lucky. With the slack that I had, I could have caused real trouble. Instead, I was more interested in making people happy than hurting anyone. I always avoided drugs because I knew better. I'm happy with who I am now, now that I can honestly give myself a lookover and trust that I'll give myself fair criticism.

But enough about that, here are my boys, who will never do anything troublesome in their lives!