I was a good kid... I think?

Back when I was doing the Leader's Training Course for the Army ROTC in Fort Knox, I made sure that the drill sergeants did not know my name. That's what doing a good job looks like when you're a cadet. But there was one time I couldn't help but crack a joke.

They were talking about how we were never to use the 3-round burst option on our M-16s, because if you aimed right, the enemy never took more than one shot. Standing at ease, I quipped, "Drill sergeant, what if it's a boss fight?"

The sergeant, who was one of the nicer ones, came over to me, looked in my eyes, looked down at my name (because I was a good cadet), and said, "Then you're free to rain hell on them, Johns." And he turned away and continued his lecture.

Looking back, my childhood (which apparently extends to when I was 20 years old), is dotted with these sorts of situations. Nine times out of ten, I was the exemplary student and kid, which meant that I got away with that one time out of ten when I wasn't!

I've been carrying a digital camera in my pocket since I was a senior in high school. This was before every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a phone had one, so my college years are particularly well-documented for someone my age! Anyways, high school. Mr. Deconna, great teacher, once displayed, for an instant, a page with all the books we'd read, and all the themes we would be expected to talk about on the final. It was sort of like a joke, but also a "find the book that gives you the most trouble and make a quick note." Some people got out a notebook. I got out a camera. And by the time the ten seconds were up, I had snapped a picture, and people were already writing their email address in my notebook.

Maybe it wasn't exactly strictly enforced, but you weren't supposed to climb on top of the buildings at UVa. But I did. A few times a week. I'd brought a sleeping bag and spent the night up on Wilson, only to wake up to lines of students filing into their morning classes below me.

I never broke a desk, but only out of luck. From high school to college, the quickest way for me to get from one side of a classroom to the other was the high altitude option. I would walk, sometimes jump, from desktop to desktop.

I was a smart kid. Very smart. I knew how to get around the security on the school computers, and while I'm sure I could have done endless carnage to the system, I used it to show my friends silly videos.

I think what really made me think this was all right was that it was, although I didn't think it at the time, sticking it to the man. No one in specific was hurt by my actions, even though I'd hate to see my kids doing the same thing. (Except for climbing on buildings, that was cool.) And often in these situations, I helped my friends. I got a chuckle from my squadmates, I helped my friends pass their AP English final, and I have a lot of memories of evenings and nights spent on the rooftops of UVa with good friends.

The moral of the story? I don't know. I got lucky. With the slack that I had, I could have caused real trouble. Instead, I was more interested in making people happy than hurting anyone. I always avoided drugs because I knew better. I'm happy with who I am now, now that I can honestly give myself a lookover and trust that I'll give myself fair criticism.

But enough about that, here are my boys, who will never do anything troublesome in their lives!