I heard on a podcast today that when big things are happening around us, we tend to forget what normal life was like.
Let's start the log. June 2nd, 2020.
4:45 am. Crash Boy comes into our room, with a chocolate muffin in his hand. Of course, he's already picked off all the chocolate chips from the top (we add a few extra), and he's telling me as a matter of fact that it's time to wake up. They are supposed to stay in their room until 5:45, when their star lamp turns on. So, I offer to let him sleep in our bed. At the moment, our bed is a large murphy bed in my mom and stepdad's basement. Echo is asleep in his crib in the closet.
After I help him cover up his muffin, (he also had an M&M on top of his, because he pooped in the potty the night before,) he climbs into bed with us, and I half-doze as he twists and turns and kicks around.
5:15 am. Who should come down the stairs but DanPar, wondering where his brother is. So, with a groan, I escort the two boys upstairs, and help DanPar go pee. (Probably what he was doing before he realized his best friend/brother/roommate Crash was missing.) I try to lay down with DanPar, but he insists on being alone. I snuggle with Crash, who is still in a kicking mood. I try to get DanPar to stop tapping the lamp, but he persists, and I half-doze until 5:45, when the star lamp turns on, and they run out, and go downstairs.
5:45 am. Echo's awake when I get down there, so I grab him, and he's happy to see me. And then he starts screaming. I mollify him with a chocolate chip muffin, but once the chips on top are gone, he puts it in the driver's seat of a toy tractor and drives it around the room with his brothers. Boy, are they loud.
I eat my oatmeal, I get coffee going in the French press, and I think about how much I wish I could play the Witcher 3. It's a fun game; I've really been getting into it, but it's about as not-good-for-kids as you can get. I decide to grab a book, A Concise History Of Prohibition. I meant to read it as research for my Hocus rpg I was running, but never got around to it. Because of COVID-19, however, the libraries were all closed, so I've been stuck with the book, unable to drop it off. (Actually, they reopened drop-off locations, but now I'm actually reading it, and they reminded us that there aren't any late fees, so no rush.)
I'm dealing with the Echo Guy, trying to keep him from knocking over stacks of diaper laundry, when I realize the other two boys are missing. Aw, crap. I thought they'd gone into the toy closet, but they'd gone up the stairs, and I hear their footsteps pounding around their room.
I follow them up, and there's my mom laughing along with them as they build forts in their room out of blankets and mattresses. Echo joins in, and I sit and referee for a bit. I've got my coffee and I've got my book; I don't have my phone, so I can't record a second of this for my 1-Second-Everyday video. Since yesterday was June 1st, I posted the month of May, and I'm worried I was a bit of a downer when I mentioned I wanted to tear my hair out. But I was down, so I was a downer. I try not to make a secret of my feelings.
Stressed, by the way. Stressed. Tell your friends.
Jessi comes in and we watch the boys run around. The boys have created a game called Fortress Heroes (a great name!), but I'm not sure what the rules are. If I had to guess, there are three rules: 1. DanPar rules supreme. 2. Don't touch his fortress. 3. Don't do it.
I try to read, with little success. I'm still a hundred years before actual Prohibition, and the taxes on rum are making whiskey a big hit in the early 1800s. Eventually she says "Well, I've got to get ready." I'm like, "What? What time is it?" "About ten til."
6:50 am. The day has already been two hours. I hang out with the boys, and eventually the collapse of Crash's fortress has turned it into a slide. Even Echo's having a blast with it. The fun all ends when DanPar attempts to go backwards, he rolls on his head, knocks the closet door off of its track with a loud CRACK, and he's giggling. I quickly usher the boys out of the room, and take a look at the door. Mom's worried about it, but I think I can fix it. I manage to knock it back in place. Hope it stays!
I make it out, a bit bleary-eyed, and grab a second cup of coffee. When I come back upstairs, the boys are doing a 48-piece puzzle upside-down, which is very impressive! Mom manages to flip it without a piece coming off, too!
I've got lot of things going through my head. There are riots going on regarding race and police brutality, especially after the awful death of George Floyd. I don't want to be quiet about it, but I'm rarely very vocal about anything political on Facebook. I'm trying to think of something to say.
Tonight is my first run with Rollerpunk, and I feel good about it. Still nervous about what could go wrong, especially with the sometimes-spotty/always-slow Internet at Mom's house. I'm trying it out with some Choosies that I know.
Karen texts me, asking me what ski lodges are like, because she's never been, but there's a scene in her book that involves a few! An editor's work is never done! I'm taking a short break from proofreading her old book that's being made into an audiobook so that I can focus on a) Rollerpunk, and b) Courtney's book. She's asking for my first impressions, and I haven't even started reading it.
Echo's rubbing his eyes, so I put him down for a nap. The boys are working with Grandma on the 550 piece soccer puzzle. It's hard, and they're losing interest, but ooooooh, we've already got all the edge pieces down! You hate to let that go to waste. Mom assures me that she can handle these boys, and I'm free to do anything I want. So, I grab a bagel and cut it in half. Somehow, it looks a bit like a butterfly, and the boys insist that I show Mama. I show Jessi, she is about 20% wowed, which, yeah, that's about right. I put cream cheese on the bagel, (a homemade creation from flour and nonfat Greek yogurt,) and try to take a quick nap.
Alas, naps are not in the cards for this morning. The boys are playing outside, and I can hear them causing all sorts of mayhem. When I get off the couch to help, Mom is taking away their ladderball pipes, because they've been using them to "drink oil", which means drinking the hosewater in the dirt turtle kiddie pool.
For the record, the boys get their clothes changed about three times today, not counting their pajamas, because they keep on running out to the pool, and coming back in, sopping wet.
At a point, Jessi and I decided to do kielbasa and homemade mac n' cheese for dinner. We've caved and decided to just start feeding the boys things they'll like at dinnertime, because one of them has always been fussing, crying, or running around while they should be at the table. Tomorrow will be taco chicken!
It's trash day, so of course once we hear it come down the road, the boys rush out! They are at a magical age, when big trucks are like unicorns you can see and hear and wave to. Our cars are in the cul-de-sac, making it a bit hard for the driver to turn around, so I feel a bit bad about that. But we are a seven-person household. Next Tuesday I'll try and move them away beforehand.
10:00 am. Echo's napping, the boys just got in some sort of trouble, and so have been kicked out of the backyard. As I'm changing Crash, he suggests watching some cartoons. Well, you know what, Crash? That sounds like a humdinger of an idea! I put on some Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That, and started my second pot of coffee. I meant to take a shower last night and shave, feel like a human, but I felt like being a monster hunter instead. (I saved some kids from wolves!) So I replace the blade on my falling-apart razor, drop a hint to Jessi that I could use a new safety razor for Father's Day, and shave my face in the basement kitchenette. (I missed right at the top of both jawlines. That's all right, I feel enough like a human.)
When I finished shaving, Echo was up, so I grabbed him, and let him enjoy the cartoons with the boys. We had watched one episode of Cat In The Hat, so for DanPar's turn, we were watching one episode of PJ Masks. But when I sneaked upstairs to make some lunch, Echo followed, so I tossed him in the backpack and got to work.
Lunch was orange noodles (ramen), colby jack cheese slices, peanut butter pretzels, strawberries, and smoothie (kefir). Almost immediately after sitting down, DanPar spilled his smoothie, and before I could even get started cleaning it up, he was demanding some water instead. He was gently reminded of his manners, and did ask nicely, but I was still trying to get the goop off the table, so it took me a second.
Crash is a messy guy. A really messy guy. I was constantly picking up his noodles. The sweet boy. I had half of a steak and some of their leftovers. Jessi came up and had a fajita, but I was juggling boys, so I never really got to talk to her. But I sure like her.
As she got back to work, I walked past, and decided I wanted to kiss her. So I offered to get her a Bubly, got her the last strawberry-watermelon fizzy water, and gave it to her, as well as a kiss.
I was feeling like some solitude, so I plugged in my headphones and got ready to listen to my NPR daily podcasts: Up First, The NPR Politics Podcast, and Coronavirus Daily. I've been trying to make time to listen to The Slowdown, which is a podcast where the hostess reads a poem. It's delightful, but like a lot of things, I feel like it's fallen by the wayside because it's not directly important enough.
At that point, Jenn texted and asked if we could do a videochat on Friday evening to talk about the state of the United States and race and how we feel and what we can do. I said sure, and, as I plugged in my headphones with microphone, I realized I could just call her. So I did as I loaded Echo and Crash Boy up into the wagon, tossing a couple packets of fruit snacks and a nearly empty box of graham crackers in with them.
Jenn and I talked, and it was a good talk. It's nice to have someone outside your normal bubble to talk to, to feel human again, to feel like time exists. We talked about white privilege, race, what we can do, and finally, about Rollerpunk. Oh, and I told her about the end of Hocus! Vampires and humans live in a suspiciously parasitic relationship, called Stewardship, but everyone in the city had been healed of the Ajado Strain, thanks to our supernatural law enforcement team.
I couldn't convince the boys to go on a longer walk so I could talk to Jenn for longer, but it sure was nice. On our way back, a construction worker was taking a break by the sidewalk, and Echo offered him a graham cracker. Goodness, but my boys are sweet.
When I got back, the boys jumped out, I bid Jenn farewell, and they got themselves all up in Mom's business as she tried to work on Bucky's turtle, a fun statue that had a fun shell made of tiles and marble on its back.
The boys settled into playing with other things as Mom and I sat and enjoyed the weather and talked. About the world, about family, about the turtle, about unkind people, and that was really nice. The boys were doing well, and everything was going okay.
And then DanPar started yelling about everything, and when Jessi came out to ask him to cool down, he shrieked. That was a bad idea, although he did manage to cool off after he got dragged inside to hang out with Mama as she worked. Crash and Echo played around for a little bit, and when they went inside, Crash was about ready to take a nap.
1:30 pm. Mom takes Crash upstairs, and I manage to convince DanPar to stay out of the room, because I don't think he can play Fortress Heroes quietly. I put Echo down for a nap, try and get Echo to sleep, and I lay down for a quick doze.
No dice. Echo wakes up, and I grab him. I try and lay down by the stairs, block his path and keep him in the basement, but he drives over me with the tractor, hours-old muffin crumbs falling on my poor sleepy face. All right. Fine. I decide I'll try again at 2:15.
As I drag myself upright, I see Jessi doing her video cardio with her work, and DanPar is being the gooberest of goobers. She's doing push-ups, and DanPar proudly says, "I'm going to stand on your back!" He climbs up there as she gets up, does a few moves, and then it's downward dog time. DanPar is hanging onto Mama's neck and back as he's tilted upside-down, giggling like the maniac he is. Echo and I are watching, impressed.
I tried to set Echo down again, and it sure seemed like it was going to work, but no dice again. He whines, and he's out again. This time, we go outside to watch Grandma mow the lawn. And no kidding, as soon as he comes out, he points at her and says, "Grandma!" She doesn't hear, of course, she's mowing the lawn! And Echo isn't one to show off when his parents want him to.
Jessi finishes up with work, and it's almost time for dinner. However, this is exactly when I decided to start writing my day, which, and I hadn't even thought about it at the time, turns out to have been a long-ass day!
3:45 pm. So she comes in, I'm still trying to write, and we move upstairs to cook dinner. I load Echo in the backpack, and he's starting to look a tad tired. Crash is still asleep, and it's getting on towards two-and-a-half hours. Uh oh. Hope he still goes to sleep on time. And maybe wakes up later than 4:45.
I go into his room and talk to him, he opens his eyes to look at me, and closes them again. Sweet boy. Sweet sleepy guy.
I cook up the kielbasa, Jessi makes some delicious mac n' cheese (we had to use spirals), and bleary-eyed Crash-a-Boy comes bumbling out of his room. Last time we made kielbasa, Crash nearly ate it all himself! Tonight, though? I'm not even sure he took a nibble. So much for things they'll like. They were all decent enough, though, so they each earned themselves orange creamsicles! (I helped with Echo's.)
My eye is on the clock, because I know Rollerpunk will be at 7, and since I'm in charge of it, I wanted to get things rolling early. After the boys are cleaned up, they run around. I think. I'm a bit foggy, because my head was in the 25th century, regarding some heroes who were gearing to return to Earth and retrieve a mysterious artifact called the Manifest.
Jessi and I get the boys ready for bed. We read two books outside the bedroom, chosen by Crash and DanPar. Then Echo comes with me down to his "room", which is actually the basement guest bedroom closet. But he loves it. We brush his teeth, we read A Is For Animals, and I set the sweetie boy down with Big Bear and his Fox and put his construction blanket on top. When I come upstairs, the other two are watching "people cookin" with Mama, because they love those cheesy Facebook videos of people making clever/elaborate/outlandish desserts. Each of them choose one.
Then they go potty, brush their teeth, get their pajamas on, and we read two more stories. By this time, it's almost 6:45, and I'm a few seconds away from internally exploding into a giant piece of popcorn. Jessi very graciously excuses me, and I zoom downstairs, very likely leaving a Dad-shaped puff of smoke behind.
I get everything ready. I've got my iced coffee. I've got a can of Coke Zero (we did a double-blind taste test, Pepsi Max is better, but I like 'em both). I run and print out my script (because of course I have a script.) I feel like I wrote it quickly, but I'm realizing it's six pages single-spaced. Oh man. Let's hope they care about any of it!
And then BK signs on! He's my buddy, he's the first guy I ever met that I just KNEW was going to be one of my closest friends. He's got a beard, and he looks tired. We start with small talk, and it's been a while since we've talked to each other, so I feel like we're working off the edges. Soon enough, we're back in a sort of groove. These times are weird, because I feel like no one has been up to much outside of the ordinary, so conversation has turned into people explaining what is routine to them. I show off my DnD character. (Because my DnD character is great.)
Erin and Daniel are having a hard time with the roll20 video chat, so BK moves us all to Zoom. I still have some lingering guilt about the few years that Erin lived in Colorado; I feel like we should have hung out more, but I was busy, there were kids, and it's not like we're not friends. Daniel, Erin's husband, the only non-Choosie there, is the guy who plays Dungeons & Dragons, and so I'm excited to talk to him about that, but it'll have to wait, because here comes Paulius!
I can't help but think of Paulius as a youngster. In college, he was two years behind me, so our time in Choose never overlapped. But whereas I graduated 9 years ago, he graduated 7 years ago. We are basically the same age, and it's funny coming to terms with that. But this youngster has the gall to drink beer! And he's doing it out of a mason jar! I am jealous, and it's great. I've run a few games tipsy before, and they were really fun, but Rollerpunk is new to everyone!
So we assemble our characters. Everyone's asking questions, and I can tell they're trying to figure out how important some things are. Should I take the Stealth skill? Or would Technology be better? What does Dexterity matter? Heck if I know, this is my first time playing the game!
There's a wonderful moment when everyone realizes that not only was this my first time playing the game, but I'd actually truly created the game. All the characters, all the skills, all the rules, from the ground up. I found the character pictures from various places online, and worked my tail off in Paint.net and Word putting things together. They are impressed, and it feels really good. This is my hobby, it's what I do for fun, and it feels like how I imagine it would feel if you invited your friends to an art show, and after talking with them for a while, you surprise them by revealing that you are the artist who painted everything!
(I could spend more paragraphs than are necessary talking about Rollerpunk. I'll have to do it later.) It is lots of fun. It has the same sort of goofy stuff that I love about role-playing games, and even the newbies are having a great time.
"I smother the flames with my invisibility cloak."
"You're going to... take this invaluable piece of technology... and throw it on top of a fire?"
"What? I've got an intelligence of 1, what do you expect?!"
We all laugh, we all have fun, and even though the game is way way too easy, it is tons of fun. I had five scenes planned, and we only manage to do one before BK mentions that it's getting really late on the east coast, and he's got to get to bed. But! Everyone starts talking about how fun it would be to pick it up from where we left off and do it again! I am extremely proud. BK signs off, Paulius signs off, Erin and Daniel and I talk about Dungeons and Dragons, then their newborn baby named Luke, then about Colorado, about going to lakes, about the outdoors, and about the quarantine. I hear the bathtub drain, so I bid them farewell, and snuggle up next to Jessi on the loveseat.
She smells great. She's been making bath bombs, because she's crafty, and loves projects (even though she'll get frustrated by them.) We make popcorn, we watch Psych, and we stay up snuggling in the basement.
When we finally go to bed, I curl up next to her, and hold her close. She's the best, she really is. And she smells nice.
I've got a lot of thoughts after writing this.
First off, I feel good. Because as crazy as this day was, it really wasn't a very unusual day for me. I was tired, busy, stressed, but I found myself seeing the little points of light in the day by writing it out. Sitting in the back with Mom, sharing my silly games, snuggling with Jessi and eating popcorn, our boys being silly, sometimes to the point of destruction, etc.
I'm still stressed. I'm still losing my mind nearly every day. But the crazy parts will pass, and the good things are here to stay. My family, my hobbies... I'm just hoping to make it out the other side all right, with the same attitude I know I can have. Positive, helpful, humble, fun, and good-natured.
I say that my superpower is that I can make anyone feel like they belong. And I love that. I really think it's true.
My goodness, that was quite a day. It's now the morning of June 4th. Just a quick wrap-up of what's happened to now:
I'm still tired. Echo woke me up yesterday at 4:15 am, after the crazy day above. I didn't get much of a nap in yesterday, but thanks to Netflix and the PJ Masks, I got something in.
I'm doing okay on stress, even though Echo's losing his mind and throwing 30-minute tantrums. I'm not sure if it's teething or just getting closer to 2, but we've been giving him ibuprofen, and letting him burn himself out.
I could use more time alone. And not just like now, where the boys are currently staying out of trouble, but time where I'm not available, where I'm not on call. In an instant, I know I could find myself running out of here, thinking "Why didn't I keep a closer eye on them?" and giving myself a hard time.
I've got my coffee, and it's the best, and I drink it black. I still look good in the mirror, although I've packed on eight pounds, and every attempt to count calories here at Mom's has failed. I should do push-ups; my weight isn't really a problem right now. (For the first time in forever???)
Jessi's incredible, and she went out yesterday with her mom to look at the new house, nicknamed The Matte Biscuit, and looked at everything before they put up dry wall. Of course, she saw a million things I never would've noticed, and has been hard at work making our house. I can't wait.
They say closing might be as early as August 14th, and kindergarten would be within a week of that! It sounds like a hectic time, but I can't wait to have my own house again. I love my mom, it's a really nice place, but keeping my pile of boys out of their personal space is harder than lassoing a tornado.
That's it! That's a day (and then some) in the midst of more than one crisis, one of the most stressful points of my personal life intersecting with one of the craziest years ever.
Here's a picture of us at Hine Lake!
