We're taking another stab at this whole "Crash Boy pooping in the potty" nonsense. My goodness.
Today, I was SO at the end of my rope, that I promised him that if he pooped in the potty, he would be allowed to watch ALL THE CARTOONS HE WANTED. And wouldn't you know it, it worked! And dang, if that's what it takes to get his little butt on the throne, that's what it takes. He also got a sticker!
It's awesome living two doors down from your brother. I just want everyone to know that, in general. In specific, I want my boys to know that. I want them to grow up thinking it's just natural to live right down the street from your family.
It's. Just. So. Awesome. Like, I've realized that Jess (the other one) is kind of one of my closest friends! We talk every day to and from school, and on chatty days, I'll just yak yak yak about whatever game I'm making or whatever book I'm reading.
The last few days, I haven't been feeling chatty. And you know what, that's a fine and healthy way to respond when I'm feeling overwhelmed. (Which, yes, still happens pretty often.) I like to be alone. I love the solitude. And when things are feeling up, I go out of my way to be outgoing. It's a bit of an ebb and flow. But hey, I don't make secrets of how I'm feeling, so I feel just fine about how I act.
This year is no 2020, but I'm happy to say I've retained the truism: It's okay to not feel okay.
Things are good. I worry sometimes, I stress sometimes, but when I take a big step back and look at things, it's good. It's hard emotional work, and on days when I spend more energy than I thought I had, it's sometimes not enough. That's okay.
Man, 2020 was just the worst year, but if I can learn enough to grow from it, I'll be unstoppable.
I'm not an ambitious person. Heck, before I had kids, I probably would have said that I'm a lazy person. But I think my lazy days are behind me. I look forward to the future, to days when my emotional energy isn't dragging behind. It's been an issue for the last few weeks. I'll start my day determined to do something, to write something or craft something or edit something or make something, but when the kids are finally in bed and asleep, I'll just feel completely drained.
Optimist that I am, I'm thinking about when the boys are more independent, about a day when the boys can sort out their own problems, and how much energy I'll have in the day when I can spend it on me!
I mean, I'll probably have a job, but here's hoping it won't be something that sucks out my emotional energy.
... writing that down, it sounds like I'm stepping away from teaching. Maybe I am. I want my own life. I want to at least act like someone ambitious!
I'm proud of who I am. It took a lot of work to make me who I am, (a credit not only to me, but to my friends and family,) and it's taking work to keep the parts of me that I want to be.
Well, I guess that's all that's been in my head. I'm gonna go meditate, because my sweet lil' brain needs it!
-Woody!
And now, some pictures of my little goober who can't be stopped!
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