2025. This year, I'm going all Global Thermonuclear War on my stress.
2025 Stress Battle - 1
So, after my last post crying into a blog post, I made an appointment with my therapist, who I saw yesterday.
It was a weird experience, because I was feeling rather fine yesterday, but I knew I needed to be a good advocate for me in my dark times, so I read aloud the previous blog post, and it did the trick!
Here are some takeaways:
- Some more structure with my kids would help on the day-to-day
- I started to stress about money because money can be turned into time and energy
- Jessi is awesome and my therapist loves hearing me talk about how great she is
- Telling my therapist "my views on gender and masculinity are hella evolved" does not immediately impress her
- She is more than willing to look into medication, but she'd like to try other things first
- There's a kind of ADHD that just stunts emotional responses?
I think my brain has just spent five years reinforcing a constant stress response. So even after my kids are in school, and my brain isn't going up in sad flames, when I'm introduced to a stressful situation, it knows what to do: freak out and make things worse.
I have better control over my stress response, but it's exhausting to make myself express a certain way, to act calm when I'm angry, to play the referee when I just need to be left alone. And that's what's burning me out.
I don't know how I can get my brain to follow a different path. I've got another session with my therapist, Andi, in a couple weeks.
The good news is, my life is more than just stress! I do fun things, I promise, even with a brain that kind of sucks sometimes!
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| Got to see Tortilla in person and the house that I built for her! |
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| Went sledding at our local hill! (I love this sign.) |
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| Working out four times a week! |
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| The boys have been playing Scrabble! Daniel loves it! |
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| Made apple crisp! (And a la moded it!) |
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