By the end of our introductory session, she'd set me up for a sleep study to work on how I never feel rested, a physical therapist to work on my shoulder, and prescribed me escitalopram for my stress! (After she heard I'd been going to counseling for three years.)
It feels like progress, which is what I needed things to feel like. April came, May came, and I hadn't made any headway in lowering my stress. It was starting to make things feel hopeless, which was starting to make me sad, because I want to be present to take care of my kids, not just hiding in the pantry trying to get my heart to slow down.
And it has been a rough time to be a parent to these kids. I feel like when the new neighbors moved in, our kids went over there and learned some new bad habits to bring home. And it's hard, because I want the kids to play over there, because friendship, and because it gives me space to breathe, but rules are more lax, they are allowed to surf the internet with less restriction or oversight, and it's scary.
But this is about ME. Because I haven't had the mind or will to do anything about anything.
I'm looking forward. I don't know if this year will be a turning point, but I'm finally feeling like I'm taking action.
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