Nothing but skin and bruises!

When DanPar was but a wee lad, he was one clumsy little guy. He'd topple into toys, and bonk his head however he could. And when he was but a wee lad, whenever he fell or bumped into something (which is what babies are pretty much perfectly designed to do), he'd look at his mom and dad, and we'd lift up our hands, and say, "Yay!"
We wanted him to be fearless in exploring, even if he took a couple hits on the way. And you know what? It worked! He isn't afraid of anything! He'll run around with reckless abandon, he'll climb up and stand on furniture, he'll squeeze himself into small spaces, he'll slide down stairs rather than take them slowly...
You know, it definitely worked, but sometimes I worry that it worked too well. He laughs through all his misadventures now, but as Jessi and I say about our little dude, he's nothing but skin and bruises!
And he's the happiest little beat-up dude ever. :)

Running outside in the rain, because you know what? Our kid is great, and clothes are easy to wash.

Sitting in the wagon meant for toys. He climbed in all on his own!

Aforementioned "standing on furniture." That's my boy!

Flopping down in the pile of cushions he put there himself, so that he had something soft to fall into!

Self-help!

My super-talented, super-amazing wife just got her Professional Engineering thing, which is HUGE. She's now batting in the same league as her bosses, and although it was several months of her nose to the grindstone, she did it!

Hats off to Mom! (Or hats on, I guess!)

Meanwhile, I've realized that since I no longer have a job job (not to be confused with a job, which I do have), self-improvement has fallen onto the back burner. The most progress I've made recently in my life is that I'm a few steps closer to unlocking all the ships in FTL.

I'll get you someday, Federation Cruiser Type C

Everyone's different, but here's what holds me back personally:
1. When I don't see results quickly, I fall off the bandwagon.
2. Since I pretty much do my job 24/7, free time is usually spent being anything but productive
3. I'm just plain lazy.

But not as lazy as this good-for-nothing freeloader!

So, I'm gonna try and get my butt on the move by reading self-improvement books. Because one thing I love to do is read, read, read.
I'm starting with The Art of Manliness' free ebook, 30 Days to a Better Man!

For me, it's good to have an end in sight. So, the limit of 30 days appeals to me.
(Plus, this is the bunch that convinced me to start using a safety razor, which has greatly improved my life and my looks.)

I won't make a point of how each day goes, but I did want to share the fruit of Day 1. "Define Your Core Values."

1. Humility
2. Identity
3. Community
4. Nurturing spirit
5. Truth

All of the most powerful moments of my life have been from the perspective of humility. I've knelt before the Lord in fear and sacrifice. I've surrendered myself to become a couple, greater than the sum of our parts. I've looked up at the stars in an empty soccer field, and the solitude of being one man crept through my nerves in a physical sense. Pride is what topples us, makes us believe we are worthy of all of God's gifts, and makes us take others for granted.

Sprouting from our humility is the power of untethered identity. Although we are small, we cannot let ourselves feel reduced to an unremarkable drop in an ocean, but rather we must be a part of the world with a purpose. We are free, and must all be free in our beliefs and talents. And only with this freedom can we be together, a force of individuals.

In this, we find strength in community. To cooperate with our neighbors and function as a larger body, to protect each other from injustice and injury, and to build lasting and powerful friendships, for the sake of ourselves and all of mankind.

It stems from this that we should value a nurturing spirit. To care for each other is everyone's lifelong responsibility. To heal the sick and make bodies well, to embrace the brokenhearted and make minds strong, and to celebrate all souls and make them bright. Our commission is to live for the improvement of ourselves as well as each other.

Finally, truth is the domain in which we exist by necessity. To be honest and open with one another, and to seek, always, a greater understanding of science, humanity, and goodness.

Dadmaster's soapbox talk on race

To simplify things, let's say that white privilege is simply not having any prejudices stick to you. Anyone in our country can think up dozens of stereotypes for hispanics, blacks, and people with Asian ancestry. Every stereotype is a harmful one, which takes away from an individual's right to create their own identity. American society, a white person basically has no race.

Also, race has no genetic reality. There is no magical boundary between skin colors that separates black and white, and there isn't a "check one or more of the following ethnicities" chromosome. It's a cultural thing that's been made up, so it's only real because it is taught.

When I became a teacher, I was forced to take a one-on-one class in multicultural education because I simply disagreed with the texts' conclusions. So I worked with someone we'll call Dr. Wright.

I had been assigned story after story of people of color telling their personal narratives, and how they had been reduced to their race time and time again, by unintentional jokers, or stereotyping passers-by, or even trusted colleagues. And I dismissed it all. I felt that if I were in their shoes, I could've taken it in stride, and nothing would have changed. But when Dr. Wright asked me to imagine that, instead of some invisible writer telling these stories, it was a person of color that I knew, I put my student Don in there.

I had some great students in my classes. Some fantastic ones. I had some students whose thank-you notes I will probably never throw away, because I know they learned so much from me.

Not Don.

Don spent my classes running around, playing with other kids, and doodling on the assignments. I have no qualms with saying that he was a terrible, terrible, student. But every day, Don came and gave me a hug. Even if he was with another teacher, he'd run out of the line to hug me, because he had a big heart.

Don was 8. But all of a sudden, I was putting him in the shoes of all these people. So he was growing up being told to be more realistic with his dreams of being an architect, because he was black. He was constantly being told by fellow college students that he couldn't be from the US, because he was Asian. He was being told in his job that his accent made the customers uncomfortable, because he was Mexican. Then I knew that it mattered.

I couldn't shut it out anymore. I couldn't just believe that it was only these few people who had decided to write about it, and I couldn't just disregard something that affected them, and not me.

I don't believe that racism is only seen in isolated incidents, and it isn't perpetuated only by outright racists. I think that our world is flooded with prejudices and stereotypes that are subtly taught by society and subtly applied to people according to their race.

I sincerely believe that if we're going to truly work out the insanity of how we see race in today's society, we need to admit that race takes up space in our minds, and that we can and do regard it, so that we can have level-headed dialogue about it, however we can, with those we disagree with, and with those who have a different perspective.

I know this doesn't have to do with DanPar or fatherhood or anything, but it's been on my mind, and this blog is the biggest soapbox I have to stand on.

The gradually napping DanPar!

I mentioned earlier that my DanPar doesn't exactly nap easily at other people's houses.

But he does respond nice and sleepily to a good stroll and fresh air!

This particular descent into dozing was fortunately captured on film!

Excited for a walk with GrandMar!

Hats and smiles!

Aaaaaaaand flop.

Sleepy sweetie.

How's that wagon taste?

Sweet little arm hanging off the edge!

DanPar with GrandMar!

A couple nights ago, we had the opportunity to ditch the boy at Grandmar's!

For the day, I hung out there and did crafts, while DanPar hung out with cousin Cody!

This picture makes DanPar look GIGANTIC!!!

This is the art Mom does:

Fake flowers!

This is the craft we did!

Fake swords!

I'm finally going to get the chance to use these boffer swords tomorrow, too! Can't wait!

Jousting Cody!

Jessi and I then went to a charity cocktail party, raising money for kids to go to summer camp. And I have to say, it made me miss my teaching days. Just being able to talk to children who can talk back is amazing.

They took the picture too soon; we didn't have time to coordinate!

(As I write this, two neighbor kids went outside to have a fake robot fight, mechanically chanting, "DESTROY. DESTROY. DESTROY." I hope I appreciate those days when they come.)

On the ride home, we talked about what we would do that night. Something that we usually can't do with our DanPar in tow. So we decided to go out and see a movie! We've had gift cards for so long, and I was gonna wear my special Captain America: Civil War outfit!

Had to borrow DanPar's light-up sneakers.

But all the movie times were too late for us, so we decided to just stay at home and play Minecraft.

Rainbow railway!

Our farms.
(Yes, we grow cactus.)

Jessi let her team know that night that she was probably going to come in late the next day.
Because we have so much fun together. I hear a lot of parents talk about how whenever they're away from their kids, all they can do is think about their littl'uns, but we really didn't miss the little guy that much. Sure, we looked at a few pictures of him from the day, but we were mostly just worried because the boy doesn't like napping at other houses.

GrandMar with DanPar and JaiMar!

But the boy was super happy the next day when I went to get him, and I was greeted with the expression I usually get from him: "Mama?"

He had a blast, and he had the chalk on his pants to prove it!

Full belly, empty bowels

That's the secret to a good night's sleep around here. After a big meal, fill in the cracks with milk, and put on the blue diaper with the white stars to induce a nice big pooper before flopping him into his crib.
The boy still hates the actual going to sleep, but he sleeps well once he's down.

Earlier today, I was playing with the boy outside, when a guy across the street looked at us, glanced very overtly at his watch, and called, "Hey, why aren't you at work?"
Used to the attitude, I returned, "I'm a dad! This is my job!"
Without a hesitation: "Oh, I know what you're up to. But what's he doing?"
We laughed, and I said something about how he was just a little freeloader.

And man.
I looked at him thinking about how he would grow up one day, have a job.
Crazy math here: if your first kid has a baby the same time you do, as soon as you become a parent, you're halfway to being a GRANDPARENT.
I'm barely an adult! What the heck!

The tough thing about parenting a boy like DanPar isn't that your kid gets sad, it's that when he DOES get sad, it's something that you can easily undo, and make him happy.
"Oh, you're right, let's stay up all night!"
"You're not done playing the library toys? Okey doke!"
"Chocolate ice cream instead of chicken it is, then!"
It's hard, because his little human experience can't be reasoned with, and you know he doesn't understand why you're being so mean, and are depriving him of something that makes him happy. You have to believe with all your heart that doing the right thing rather than the easy thing will make him happier in the end.

Finishing a strawberry!

While the kid was fetching shoes, I looked down at the slippers on my feet, oversized (just the way I like them), and I had the odd feeling of "someday I'm going to fill these shoes", which was made even weirder because, no, no I won't. As a parent, I find myself experiencing small flashbacks of wonder and novelty from childhood, and then come back to the present, where my body and brain have pretty much done growing.

But this little guy has barely begun.

My kid is the best.

Star Wars

May the 4th [be with you] just came and went, and it makes me reflect on the first fictional universe I ever found myself immersed in. (But certainly not the last.)

Star Wars will always have a special place in my heart. For a while in my childhood, I pretty much lived and breathed Star Wars. My brothers and I would discuss the details of it, and, probably especially formative of my roleplaying lifestyle, we would create and enact entire galactic conflicts.
When you think about kids playing Star Wars, you probably think about kids trying to whack each other with gift-wrap cardboard tubes. And no doubt, that's definitely part of what we did.

But more than that, we drew and wrote. We created entirely original political powers that conspired with and against one another's in the Star Wars universe, referencing characters from the movies as well as from the videogames, and created our own droids for battle and espionage.

Such an awesome game! Can't believe it was made in 1998.

I still consider being a younger brother as a blessing. Not only was I able to participate in entirely imaginative games as a young lad, but I was given constructive boundaries.

When I was a teacher, I could always tell which kids didn't have older siblings. These were the ones who, when creating a superhero or a Pokemon or something (my classes were the BEST), would want their guy to be the best at EVERYTHING. Super strong, invincible, able to read minds, dueling with swords, blasting with laser rifles, and flying through the air with super speed.

Yeah. I didn't get away with that.

Enter the Flea. I attempted to make a super-small, all-powerful reconnaissance droid that not only could sneak around anywhere, but with an arsenal that could pretty much destroy a death star all on its own, thermal exhaust port or not.
Bucky was the one who picked on me most of all, and it took me a few years to realize that he was just putting down constructive boundaries (and also picking on me). He designed a counter-droid, the Flea Flanker, which just took everything the Flea could do, and made it just an eensy bit better, so that it could destroy my omnipotent little thing.

But enough about that. Let's talk about loner Woody.

I consider myself an introvert. I love being alone. It's how I recharge. Don't get me wrong, I'm a people person, and I'm nothing if not outgoing, but if I have an option, I'll go out on my own and take that booth in the corner, that empty back seat, and I'll go camping on my lonesome.

And it's wonderful.

When I was but a wee lad, I would pretend to fly TIE fighters and A-wings, bouncing up and down on a riding mower, with a pistol-looking stick in one hand and a trusty cardboard tube in the other.

And in my solitary hours of play, I didn't blast my way through swathes of stormtroopers, or slice AT-ATs into bits. I would infiltrate. I would tiptoe around the bad guys, and if they left me no choice, I'd blast them with an blue ion laser, which, according to my not-so-canon imagination, wasn't lethal, but rather just sent them flying away like ragdolls.

I'd run away from the Empire, and me and that famed astromech droid R2-D2, (which was just a big plastic pretzel jar with a paper plate on top,) would laugh as we flew away from the evil forces we'd just sabotaged. (Yup. When I played alone, even my imaginary friends weren't humans.)

And that's how science works.

And when I got around to playing the videogame Knights of the Old Republic (or Kotor, if you're as cool as I surely am), I would play the same way. Sure, I could use a lightsaber, but I really only threw it like a boomerang, because that was cool. Other than that, I'd cowboy through with two blaster pistols. And it would just be me and my new favorite astromech droid T3-M4, sneaking around, laying mines, hacking computers, locking doors so enemies couldn't get through, and taking on non-combat missions to get money and buy the best stuff.

Hey there have you heard about my robot friend?

Of course, this strategy gets really really hard towards the end, when all you fight are dudes with lightsabers.

As it turns out, lightsabers reflect lasers.
Crap.

But the way I played makes me love the newest Star Wars, The Force Awakens.
Rey isn't a hack-n-slash Jedi, she's a techie! A saboteur, just like I used to pretend to be!
Of course, she can handle herself hand-to-hand, but when it comes down to her specialty, it isn't in lightsaber duels. She's in her zone not in a fight, but behind the controls of the Millennium Falcon. Her power is in her wits and know-how.

 And I can get behind that.

Who needs humans? We've got droids!

DanPar's baby shower books!

Back when I was but an unknowing Dad-to-be, we asked out family and friends to, instead of cards, give us books, with kind little notes written inside.
17 months into DanPar being a real person, let's take a look back!

This is an old book, (copyright 1985.) so I opened this up a few days ago, since DanPar is now more or less okay with paper pages now. Jessi's parents used to read through this story, and replace all the neighbors' and pets' names with actual people and pets from their own life. Which is just too adorable. It makes me think, "Wow, I should really get to know my neighbors."

Daniel, We are so blessed to have you coming into our lives.
We can hardly wait to meet you.

This is what really got me thinking. I send the little tyke over to their house a couple times a week, and so when I read this, especially "We can hardly wait to meet you," I thought, Well, I hope they're not disappointed. It was a weird thought to have, but for some reason, I couldn't help remembering all the hype there was around DanPar the Magnificent.

It's amazing with family. You can love someone before they're even here.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This was given to me by my former DungeonMaster (whom I have dethroned) and friend since high school, Jared. Dude's awesome. I'm his freelance official editor, and he's working on getting his own website into popularity, over at The Nerd Cavern. (Check it out!)

You can be anything you want to be. Whatever you choose to be, be the best at it.

So, if we had our way, DanPar would be the lead scientist of a global fellowship of humanitarians, who finally find a way to provide plentiful clean water across the world.

But if DanPar has his way, he'll probably want to be a ninja.

So by golly, be the best ninja there is!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The big joke here is that DanPar's "GramPar" is a Sanders. So, Pooh's crashing at big Joe's place, and it's funny.

Big Joe's a big softie when it comes to babies!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I love this book. So much. I read it to DanPar on mornings when neither of us are morning-ing very well. I have a rule: Having a slow morning? Too bad, read Great Day for Up, and with gusto! 

"Congrats!" is such an interesting word to use. You got BORN, bro! Congrats! Of course, there's no better word, because there's no single word that could possibly encompass all the joy, newness, and sheer mystic power of new life.

I'm also excited to see my guy grow up. Kind of. I take a bajillion pictures of the guy now, and I hope that'll help. And so far, everything about the kid is perfect. I'm worried that when he grows into a real human being, he'll be just as flawed and human as everyone else.

Amy and Bryan's little sweetheart, Cody!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm one of those parents who doesn't care if boys like girly things or vice versa. So bring on the princesses, and bring on the magic. Plus, as a teacher, I know the value of themed books and assisted reading books.

Thank you, Salvador Ramos! Your powerful words have really resonated with me, and your well-wishes are well-received!
(Yeah, I thought it'd be funny to include a random thrift store book we got. But I'm all out of jokes, so, um, done.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Luckily for DanPar's bookshelf, we have plenty of friends who have gifted him books. And lucky for me, because man, it's easy to write a blog post when it's just 'Hey, let's look at what everyone else said!'

Thanks for reading, reader!

He's just SO CUTE.