4 baby power-ups!

     So, earlier this morning, I thought about how nice it would be if I didn't need to burp my kiddo every single time he ate.  So, I kept on thinking about that, and I came up with a few power-ups that I wish I had, as a parent of a 2-month old.

The Babylfish                       

     When you have a baby, who just sits there most the day, you REALLY wish that you could talk to him.  Something that I learned from the Sims: you can improve your desire for social interaction by talking to a baby!  Something I was disillusioned to find out: no, you can't.  The baby will look around with incomprehension, even as you try to explain to it why you've never played Final Fantasy VII until now.  With this power-up, your baby will understand what you say, and sometimes even nod.  I spend every waking minute with this little guy.  That's all I ask for.

The Dadelfish                       

     Allow me to quote my son from yesterday, as I was holding him.  *Ahem*.  "Waaaaaaaahhh!!!  Oo!  Oo!  Waaaaaaahhhh!!!"  Don't you wish that you could have a fish wriggle inside of your ear and translate that incessant screaming into, "Hey, my dear father, I'm beginning to feel a tad peckish.  Be a good man and thaw out some boob juice, could you?"  Or, "I hate to be a bother, sweet father, but I've kicked off my socks again, and now my feet are cold."  Or, "Excuse me, father mine, but I've been thinking about mother, and how much of a better snuggler she is than you.  So yeah."

The "Say Cheese"                
      I have probably about a thousand photos of my son.  None of them are smiles.  The closest I've gotten to getting a smile is my little guy sticking his tongue out.  (I'll add it to the comments; it's a pretty good picture.)  But sometimes you just want the little bugger to give you a truly gleeful smile, to make you feel like you're doing this whole "parenting" thing correctly.  And it wouldn't hurt if you got to snap a couple pictures of it, and show off to your family how awesome you are at this whole "parenting" thing.

The Rip Van Baby                 

     In the last two months, I have not slept for 4 hours in a row.  It's because of this little guy.  4 hours is a big stretch for him, too, and it's a lucky night when we get that much sleep.  So, this last power-up (for now, these are too much fun to make) is a magical power-up that makes your baby SO TIRED that he sleeps for a whole TWELVE HOURS.  Can you imagine what that means, as a parent?  You're free to do whatever you want!  Everything that you've missed out on by taking care of this little human larva is yours!  You can do just about anyZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....