Ten years from ten years ago, Part 1

My mom recently gave me an incredible piece of history. Like, the sort of thing you'll find in a museum someday.

Written in 2005, it's the official "what will I do in 10 years!"

Let's go ahead and start going through these, and see how prophetic young, naive 16 year old Woody was!

READYSETGO

Let's see, in ten years, I'll

I'm gonna stop myself right here. I still talk like this. I start every new idea with "Let's see," or "So," or "Well," or "You know,". I don't know why. I have just apparently always spoken like this.

-have a big, cheap, low-maintenance van

The plan was definitely a good one. And I still admire the idea. The idea was that I could go out on big road trips with my group of a thousand friends, and go wherever. Currently, my dream is to have a nice truck, with good seats, and enough space that I can help people move.
But alas, I've got my baby-safe-mobile, with sunroof, moonroof, and only five seats.

Hard to get more low-maintenance than this!

-not have had a date for six months

You know what, 16 year old Woody? You're WRONG. Just a few weeks ago, when the grandparents had the little dude, Jessi and I went to King Soopers, bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and sat on nice couches, talking about science-fiction technology. Maybe YOUUUUUUUUUU just don't know what a date is, loser!

Married person dates: when you aren't impressing anyone anymore.

-have had 4 different jobs

Count with me here, folks.
Job #1: CutCo knives. I ostracized my friends.
Job #2: KenTacoHut. I made the mini pizzas, and was allowed to have the Colonel's facial hair.Job #3: McDonald's. I flipped burgers and poured drinks, and worked way too early.Job #4: Southlands theatre. I tore tickets and cleaned up vomit. Not actually that much fun.Job #5: Jimmy John's. I assembled sandwiches like nobody's business. Actually that much fun.Job #6: Tradesmart. I appraised books and records, and gave people peanuts on the dollar.
Job #7: Kumon tutoring. I helped people with calculus. Whoa. Weird, right?Job #8: Global Village. I taught English to hundreds of elementary schoolers.

I'd say this is a tidy little resume of sadness, up until 7 and 8!

Woody, doing his job.

-eat Ramen noodles every other night

You are such a fatty, 16 year old Woody. I actually cook stuff! I've got a family to feed! But yeah, I probably do eat a bowl of cereal every other night. Cereal's awesome, guys.

-be perfectly happy

That's...actually a pretty deep sentiment, Woody-16. I'm stressed, sleep-deprived, and honestly, some days I can't do much more than stare at Daniel as he runs around and learns to spit water from his sippy cup. But yeah. I wouldn't change a single thing.

If I changed my life even a little, I might not have this!
And that's unacceptable.

-wear cheap clothes, probably still wear shorts

Woody-16 was renowned for wearing shorts every day. Rain, snow, shine, dark of night, all the time. I hate to disappoint you, man, but I've decided that refusing fashionable things simply because you don't want to be fashionable isn't a good idea. I wear jeans now. (But only when I'm going outside. Otherwise, pajamas 24/7.) 

Today, in fact, is double pajama day!

-have written three books, which went nowhere

I'm still working on writing one complete book. That's one of my New Year's resolutions. I've joined a workshop and everything! But the hardest part is definitely just sitting down, and mashing the keyboard until a story shows up. Good or bad, I'm sorry that I never got around to those three books, man.

When even my Sim can't be bothered to write, you know I'm in trouble.

-have written over thirty poems, which went somewhere

I wrote poetry when I was a teenager. And oh, it was teenaged poetry. Dramatic, exaggerated, impassioned, dispassionate, you name it. But I will say, I thought it was pretty darned good stuff! I've come to accept that my old stuff I put on LiveJournal, although it was done by a younger me, was important to me then, and so was important to who I am today.
And fine, here's one I liked.

I ran as fast as I ever have,

longer than I knew I could.

But they are still close.

I shouted at the top of my lungs,

louder than I knew I could.

But they aren’t going away.

I’ll subdue any opponent.

Give me a battle!

I want a challenge I can see!

But I can’t do a thing.

Mentally armed to the teeth,

ready for anything I can touch.

But I can’t do a thing.

Totally useless I remain,

here.

And I can’t change that.

I can’t do a thing.

I can’t fight.

I can’t fight these monsters.

I haven’t done a thing,

that at that time was wrong.

I want to buy that ring,

but all of them are gone.

There’s nothing I can do

while I’m out here far away.

I’d promise all to you,

But I can’t make you stay.

I get castigation

for a crime I never did?

You want compensation

for the same state that I’m in?

I’ll accept all the pain

to make us more whole.

I believe it to be in vain

if you don’t have me full.

“THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO!”

as I shout into the night.

These monsters all are you.

And there’s nothing I can fight.

Okay, that's 8 things, out of my list of a bajillion. That's enough for now.

Trust me, there'll be more. (Especially with gems such as "refuse to have a family" on there.)